Gone With the Dogs and Bye-Bye Miss American Hare!

Divesting oneself of stuff is not for the faint of heart. There are several methods: room by room, item by item, location by location (wasn't my dining room table in this room once?). But divesting oneself of living things - like pets, plants and children - can be a real test of strength.

I had four dachshunds. Actually, I had two AKC registered ones: Kafon's Ima Redneck, and Guinness Black and Tan. And the fact that they are bonafide dachshunds really had nothing, nothing to do with my decision to take them with me to Israel. Really.

Merlin the Magician and Dr. Beau Leaky were discovered roaming down in Alabama. They both tested heartworm positive, which meant the shelter scheduled them for euthanasia. But the shelter workers had the phone number of Jim and Leslie Ingram, founders of Almost Home Dachshund Rescue and now the dedicated people of Doxie Acres. They took in the boys, treated them for heartworm and had them neutered. It was that they had remained intact was a problem. They had fully developed the marking instinct. And marking was so popular at my house, they were called The Marks Brothers. It became a competitive sport. "That's my bookcase." "No, that's my bookcase." " No, that's my bookcase." That's my bookcase, boys!" I yelled to no avail.

So the dachshunds lived a contented if boring life outside. They had plenty of room, two dog houses on my deck, and according to Baltimore City law, they were allowed to spend the night in the bathroom when the nighttime low reached 15º.

As the time for leaving approached, I found nobody willing to ake on two unrepentant markers. And I am a member of wienerwriings.com, a message board of hard-core wiener-loving hoomans. Then one day I remembered a sentence in my adoption contract. "If, for any reason, you have to surrender the dog, you are required to return it to us." Well, boy howdy, I surrender! I e-mailed Leslie, she said bring 'em on down, and now Beau and Merlin are "retired" in a loving home of two people and 20 dachshunds in North Carolina.

Rabbit-wise, I was down to my last bun. Coquita Bun-Anna was an adorable chocolate Havanese. (Photos submitted upon request.) A couple from Annapolis and I found each other and Coco found herself a new home, where she is beloved member of their family.

That left me with two manageable pets - and small enough that I could carry both of them at the same time. The Israeli Departrment of Agriculture is very cautious to ensure that no one smuggles any rabid dachshunds into the country. After all there were three (!) of them on our plane. Never mind that every day people from Sudan and Ethiopia slip across the border after crossing the Sinai. (After all, Moses and the 12 Tribes did the same thing more than 3500 years ago - are you listening, United Nations?) Next up - How much is that doggie gonna cost me?